Living a life not meant to be lived
72Fate has a wicked twist to our existence
I've been told before that I'm a man. I work, plain and simple. In fact, the plainer and simpler the work the more manly I become. Women are to either bear children for me, or work simple jobs as a mousy secretary, abandoning hopes of looking sexy because...well, you're married now!
Ever been in these shoes, the shoes of destiny that has been determined by your great grandfather long before you peed into a toilet or wiped snot into little Suzie's hair?
I'm here to tell you that every single person who holds strongly to this archaic ideaology is mislead. While I do agree that man should work, it's never decided for us what that work is. In a way, fate has chosen your line of work by gifting you with a set of genes that gear you towards some line of work or another. Attribute these things to God, evolution, or your inner being, but regardless of where this comes from, we all have it.
One man, an engineer by trade, could live his entire life happily screwing nuts and bolts onto a piece of sheet metal. Not only that, but he expects everyone else to do the same exact work. That's what being an egnieer or mathmetician is: doing everything your way, since you know it's right, and expect everyone else to do the same exact stuff you do.
Fortunately for the rest of us, you're all wrong.
Another man might pick up a chainsaw and walk into the woods and find a tree with good lumber he wants to process. He could spend the next 12 hours doing the same thingt, over and over, and be happy doing it.
Another man decides he wants to own a franchise, and he starts by managing a local restaurant. HE loves this line of work because he likes customers, he likes to manage, and he loves to eat.
Then there's those of us who are not squares. We are more like circles. We're not happy being right all the time, we're sick of doing the same thing over and over again, and we loathe managing people or owning a franchise. We'd rather express ourselves, something these other jobs tend to silence with a boot to your proverbial mouth.
A perfect example is a musician. Now, there are two types of musicians: 1) someone who is shaped more by the culture of their world and therefore is not innovative or original in the least bit, or 2) someone who shapes music in the world he resides in. Or she, for you females out there!
While I'll admit I need a job to make money, I've never been, nor ever will be happy, doing exactly what these three other examples do. I will never like kissing managerial arse, I'll never enjoy being a freakin' mechanic and twist pieces of scrap metal together, I'd hate even being in a car factory for that matter. I'd be miserable til the day of my miserable death doing that. So how do I solve the dilemma?
FIX THE PROBLEM.
That means pursuing what you know you should be doing. If you're one of very few circles in this world, don't bother fitting in or getting Mr. Joe the Engineer to understand your dreams, he simply won't.
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Oh I agree goldentoad. I wasn't saying everyone has a chance. My point was there are very few people who are geared for a type of career like music or art. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that majority of "pop" radio artists, whether country, rap, hip hop, or rock, are not truly "circles." There are huge amounts of people who can, and do, normal jobs. I'm not saying they're wrong for it. I am upset however when those same people tell me I am not supposed to chase a dream and instead surrender to corporate america til I die. Make sense?
yeah, makes sense. People should encourage dreams, not take them away. I was watching Football yesterday and a Kurt Warner commercial came on about his greatest NFL moment, its really an amazing story and i know he hasn't had the most graceful career, but to think that guy was stocking groceries for 5 bucks an hour and people telling him he better think of something else to do besides play football. Now he's going to his 3rd superbowl, with his second team. a nightmare is not having a dream, right?
All I know t.keeley is that life goes by very fast and so far as we know there are no do-overs. Even so, very few people pursue work that matters to them because there are so many huge pressures not to do that. I've been thinking a lot lately how there was a time before the industrial revolution when work did not mean what it means now. Life was challenging, but men and women both learned real skills passed from generation to generation, and earned some money through those skills but mostly lived off their own land. Now most of us live in cities and feel like slaves to jobs we hate. I wonder, was that a step forward? At least you are thinking about it, which means you aren't dead yet. Keeping on playing your music every chance you get. You'll be old before you know it and I promise you the one thing you will NEVER say in old age is, "Wow, I wish I had worked more hours at that crappy widget turning job..."
Great hub!
My mate is an engineer by training, used to build missiles for the gov't, and solar homes aftewards; he left his profession and traveled the country in his motorhome, and then decided to open a remodeling business which he closed 4 years ago as he decided to go into a spiritual retreat. Now is he an artist, philosopher and cartoonist and is working on making a living off this, but its not much money yet.
We can reinvent ourselves but it takes guts and some faith. Keep following your dreams as a musician.
Good points, TKeeley (as always). The role of work in our lives vs. passion in our lives can cause quite a conundrum. The farther the distance between your natural inclinations and your work, the more miserable you will be. If you have musical talent and that's what feeds your passion, you will of course want to spend as much of your time doing that as possible. But we all know that it's the rare and lucky artist who gets to quit his/her day job.
One thing I found helpful and keep going back to is a personality test designed to identify your ideal career. (I think it might be MMPI bput I could be wrong). My dad had me take it as a young teenager. I still have the results and take them out and look at them every so often. It's patently obvious from that test what I am biologically/psychologically cut out to do. I can tall you (and this should come as no big surprise) it has absolutely nothing to do with engineering or widgets:-).
MM
you may not achieve that suitable career dreaming about it...prounce on it! good hub...
Good writings! I don't think stereotyping what man ought to do is the right thing. Everyone's dream differs and i do wish that you find yours.
Pam: Thanks, I agree. I will regret looking back doing the same job I'm doing now, but not pursuing what it is I truly enjoy :)
Violet: I'm glad you're mate ended up pursuing his true desires. Reinventing oneself isn't something I care to do though, I'd rather stick to it now and never give it up :D
MM: Thanks again for the support. I just took another test last night and, not surprisingly, I ended up being set up to not do structured jobs but instead enjoy something more or less artistic.
Pylos: my thoughts exactly! That's why I wrote this. Dreams that never get fulfilled are, as Goldentoad said, a nightmare. That's why we should pursue the skilled trade we're built for.
Cororate america feels a lot like slavery, so we should do our best to abolish working useless jobs that only make us miserable :) The difference between the one lucky musician and the one who works to get to where he/she is is the work part. I am not marketable, but I can sure as hell work to become the best musician I can be and in the end, possibly make a decent living doing it.
We'll be watching/listening for those YouTube videos of your music, TKeely!!!
Go ahead and listen to most of the songs we've worked up live so far.
I think we have close to 20 up on there right now, all are just live tracks we threw together when we were jamming.
Good blog, only disagreement I have is that everyone makes decisions in their lives. If those decisions lead them astray, thats on them. Everyone has the posibilities to do anything, their choices in life will close some doors and open up others.
However, it is better to try something you love and fail then never try at all. As I got older I found myself playing the what if game, what if I had continued playing baseball instead of getting married and going into the military. Well at the age of 40, I had the opportunity to try out for a minor league team. I did not make it but I learned that my skill level was never the big show kind of talent, the best I could have done was AAA. Good part is I no longer have to wonder.
Good luck, give it everything you have so at the end of the day you will not have too wonder about what might have been.
Thanks Terry. I plan on doing just that. And, if I end up playing the what if game, it won't be like I didn't try it. I doubt you regret your life's decisions, and I am married and my wife supports my 'dream.' This much works in my favour :)
History doesn't agree with you Tim
And how not? We're not technically living history, we're living in the present. The same mindset of quelching peoplea' desires in the name of commerce or whatever is what keeps the very, very few exceptional people from striving to do more. History doesn't agree with college education either, since it's a very modern machine. Times change, and us with them, so utilising what we have, right now, is what is important. Who knows, in 20 years this whole thing may never be seen again. I want to be the person who did the best he could to be more than just a simple factory worker.
Making a living doing music is tough, no doubt about it, but it is "doable". The reality is that in the early stages, you will end up spending 80% of your time doing stuff you don't enjoy to make enough money to do the other 20%.
I've know a lot of musicians, and I've know some who's desire and ambition out-stripped thier talent and capacity for hard work. That stripped the joy from their music and it became a downward spiral. Ruined marriages etc.
I've known others who refuse to let the joy leave their music regardless of circumstances. They understood that God created music for joy, but that music itself was not God. Even thier painful music had a touch of that joy.
The "successful" musicians I have know (I mean that in a material sense) hung on through the 80% of crap untl they had a break through. It seemed a long time to them ... but for them it was worth the years of pain. They refused to blame others for their lack of success, but were brutally honest with themselves in their music and their lives.
You've got the brutally honest with yourself thing down pat. You're on the right path. Hang in there!
And then there are those musicians who are insanely talented, who pick up new instraments that they have never played before and play them like they have played them for years but for some reason they are just too afraid to make it. Maybe they figure that being someone will make them someone they are not, I dunno.
But kudos for you to go out and do it. Tuff world for musicians, so commercialized; to the point really that you already know where the bridge will go, how many choruses there will be, the simple 3/4, 2/4 or 4/4 rhythems...usually good but still boring, the same old thing for the last 10 years or so.
I love locals for this reason. They are creative, they can express themselves, (they love to swear sometimes too) you can actually talk with them and even have a drink.
Good luck tk, I fall into the, couldn't get a break catagory but taking care of another life became so much more important, I put it away.
Hey Sandy, I've seen your videos on You Tube - you're good! Your painful music has that undertone of joy that I talked about.
You really love music and maybe would be more happy in that line. If nothing else teaching music to others and trying to spend as much spare time to music as possible may help to lessen the work stress. Here is a quote for you to ponder over:
”I respect the man who knows distinctly what he wishes. The greater part of all mischief in the world arises from the fact that men do not sufficiently understand their own aims. They have undertaken to build a tower, and spend no more labor on the foundation than would be necessary to erect a hut.” By Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
BD: thanks for te encouragement. I realise how tough it is to make it, but I feel strongly that we'll 'make it' in the sense of being successful enough to do this for a living. That's all I'm aiming for, and if more happens, great, otherwise it's a career in the very sense of the word!
Sandra: I am one of those people who jut picks up instruments, actually. And I'm not saying so just to brag, but look at my lineup I play for shows:
- bodhran [irish drum]
-djembe
-keys
-concertina
- pennywhistles
- dulcimer
- vocals
I think that's a pretty good list of instruments most have never heard of, and that helps the band's ec;ectic sound a lot. Since we're a folk-rock band, we fuse a lot of different types of folk songs into a more country/rock beat. The fact that we don't have a full-time drum set also makes us rather unique, maybe we're too unique to make it, I don't know. I do know there are millions of people who love celtic music and we'll be very appealing to that genre's taste. Not to mention we do a lot of originals with different feels too, so I have no doubt the common man will appreciate the music in some way or another, and it's not like listening to the same thing, over and over, as you said :)
CW: thanks for that quote and the happiness it brought to me. Music is my PASSION...my "dream" so to speak. It's what I breathe and I want to allow others to appreciate it as much as I do!
P.S. I Love Celtic Music TK!
Awesome stuff, another fan ;)
Yeah, my brother is one of those people I was talking about, I wish it were me, I do want to get some drums though, man oh man I want to play the drums, I bet I could do a damn good job!
Anyways, I love celtic music too! So where are your videos? Hook up a TK music profile! ;)
I have personal videos at my youtube site, some old band vids too, nothing with the new band though. http://youtube.com/irishlad6
Also listen to the new band at the aforementioned link http://reverbnation.com/bote
Hope you like the live jams, none of them are album material but that's going to change in March when we record a full album.
TKeeley, bravo to you for your passionate pursuit of happiness. I wish you the best and much success. There's much to be said for passion, it will get you far.
I totally understand what you were saying about doing what you want to do and not what others think you should do. I've done both, and it isn't very rewarding to try and fulfill the dreams of others. :)
Great job!
Awesome TK! There was this Irish bar down the street from where I use to live called the Blarney Stone. Too bad you don't live in SanDiego, you would do well out here! Left you a comment on youtube. Cheers Irish brother. :)
That video you saw on youtube is very old. Like I said, everything on youtube i another band, and this new project is, in my own opinion, quite the improvement.
Well, we're waiting for you new video with baited breath!
yip, I agree BDaz! Tk, even my daughter like it. :)
Meeting with the b'ys tonight. Might get an opportunity or two to record a full video :)
goldentoad 3 years ago
Good read. But I have to say, not everyone's given a choice, its a good thing to believe, but I have tons of respect for the people who get up everyday, go to jobs they hate, for people they love. I'd like to believe everyone has the same opportunities at success, but that is simply not the case, and if one has the opportunity, they better not waste it, there are a million others would like a chance.